THE BIRTH OF SUICIDE/FIRST DEGREE MURDER

I HATE THIS PLACE. YELLING AND CALLING NAMES AND NO LISTENING.

so I freak out trying to get you to stop talking and let me talk.  Let me answer one of your rantings.  I am only seven and you never listen to me.

IT’S ALL MY FAULT FOR BEING STUPID

what else are you.

An IDIOT AND DUMB AND NOBODY LOVES ME THATS WHY I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.

WHAT!

  1. Because I love you I won’t spank you for saying that!
  2. You kill yourself for nothing and no one.
  3. EVER!

Well I DON’T WANT MOMMY TO EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN! I’m GOING TO KILL MOMMY!

Noooooooooooooo

SHE SAID SHE’S GOING TO KILL ME.

Nooo, she’s your mother.

I DON’T CARE. SHE DOESN’T LOVE ME ANYMORE SHE LOVES JUDY MORE THAN ME SHE LOVES ALL KIDS BUT ME.

No she loves you.

NO SHE DOESN’T SHE DOESN’T LOVE HER OWN KIDS SHE LOVES EVERYBODY ELSES.

But I love you. I always listen to you.

EVERYBODY THINKS IM STUPID

I don’t.

You yell at me too

Yeah but only when you get mad and crazy and I will never allow you to get like that at me.  I am your Grand! I am your grandmother…I’m your, wisdom and teacher. I teach you lots of things and we have fun right. We talk don’t we. And I raise my voice. I do not yell at you.

Yes but daddy said I am never leaving this room again, and I can’t go to school, and mommy took everything away from me and she is taking my cloths and everything and she hates me, so I hate everybody cos nobody cares about me.

But look at you, you don’t want to learn with me you want to play your video games and stuff, you want to watch TV and nothing else.

I’m in my room for the day. For ever! I hate myself and want to die! I’m so stupid stupid stupid.

Nooooooo, it’s not you. Your mother and father are dumb! But only because they don’t  know how to talk to little kids.

THEY JUST YELL AND HATE ME AND TAKE ALL MY STUFF

Shh shh shhh,  no no no now. Mommy had a bad daddy,{grampa whoo}, mommy’s daddy never talked. He always yelled and called bad names and said every bad word all the time.  That is all he did, yelling and calling mean bad names. Soo, mommy does not know how to talk right, especially to kids. And you are a kid!

Yeah HERS…

Shh  now now, lets just talk.

She hates me.

No she loves you. She just doesn’t know how to be a nice mother and nether does your dad.

HE Is just dumb.

Yes . Yes he is.

They  both don’t know how to talk to kids.

YES THEY DO THEY TALK NICE TO ALL THE OTHER KIDS EVEN THAT STUPID STUPID KID AT FOOTBALL

Shh shh okay. Okay you’re okay.

No I’m not.

Yeah you’re not. But I want to tell you, not all mothers yell at kids. My mother did not yell at me and my sisters and brothers. If my mother said to me, “sit down.” and I didn’t sit down, she came and picked me up and sat me down, hard. She said nothing. if my mother told me to shut-up and I didn’t, she would come to me and slap my face so hard I would fall off my chair. She said nothing. If my mother told me to go change my clothes and I didn’t,  she would drag me to my room. She would take my clothes off me, put clean clothes on me then throw me outside. She said nothing.

Did your mommy love you.

My mother gave me away when I was 4 months old.

How come.

I don’t know I was a tiny baby.

How did you get to your family?

She came a took me away when I was seven.

And then did she love you.

No!…She would hit me when she was mad. If she was mad at my dad, she would beat me when he went out the door.  She would give my sisters and brothers milk money for school, but not me, she would say, if you want ten cents go ask your dad.

Why did she do that to you?

Maybe she didn’t like me, I really can’t tell you. But I can tell you lots and lots of mommy and daddy don’t know how to talk to kids, and lots of mommys and daddys hit their kids. But that may be, their mommy and daddy didn’t know how to talk to them.

This is sad to hear coming from any child.  No child should want to kill him self or any one else at the age of seven or any age as far as killing goes.  Killing is for hunters.

IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS TELL SOMEONE

After all just the fact you hearing this, should be liable in a court of LAW, solely for the same reason [ you can not stand and watch a body drowned], even if you can’t swim. And forget about the undertow cos the currents are streaming the person out to sea while you fret not knowing what to do,  {you’re arrested for being a coward}? The best thing was to run for help.   Just like now. The child and the parents need to be told on before, the child takes a strong hold of murderisum {if it is not a word it should be},growing to hate and kill. It is very visable at this point in time.

NOW WE NEED TO WONDER IF SEVEN YEARS IN THE MAKING OF THESE FIRST YEARS OF GROWTH CAN BE CORRECTED.. As you have been warned many times, over the years of childhood studies, how crucial the first 5[FIVE}years of life is after birth. CHILDREN ARE SPONGES, THEY LEARN EVERYTHING YOU ARE. Which means  {you’re everything} they have to go by. All how you are they will be {in their} own way though, how they see and understand things to be by your teachings.

THE  BIRTH OF SUICIDE/FIRST DEGREE MURDER

It’s obvious the world is responsible right? Only things can’t change. The teachings in school MUST change if PARENTS can’t.

What?, half the world is haters.

the other bit is scared.

while the rest do their best to teach peace and compassion, live and be strong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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GRANDPA HOW COME GRANDMA IS NOT HERE

“Grandpa how come grandma is not here? Did she go a way? did she get sick and die?”

Holy kid. How come every time you see me moving things around you ask me stuff. Maybe I will get that 50 cents back.

“No grandpa that was different, you didn’t teach me nothing with my [money tax] question.”

Good I will try again with this question.  “Grandpa, no, stop. Your face is going to make me laugh.”

Sounds a little to late. Here we go. Laugh it out. And while you’re doing that laugh more at I will take that fifty-cents again and this time charge you!, a quarter. 25 big cents.

“Haahaa.”

Guess what. You can laugh 75 cents right into my hand or I’ll tell you nothing about your grandma.  Yeah sounds more like it.

“How come the price went up. Grandpa that’s not fair.”

There is no fair here kid.  Just me and you and my honor, and on my honour I will have earned this 50 cents AND. 25 more big cents.

“Oh grandpa, you’re always trying to be smart or wright…Grandpa I said wright, don’t you get it? The brothers.  Grandpa. You told me this.”

Just hand over the money along with the tax.

“It better be good grandpa, it better not be like the tax lesson.

You paying me or what o-cheep-o.

“Hnhn, GRANDPA, don’t do that with your face. HAhahah.”

A least my eyes, are opened, not my mouth. You’re standing on the steps with your eyes closed and you’re mouth opened.

Yeah laugh some more.

Laugh you’re self to pieces.

I’ll pick you up off the floor.

“Grandpa you have one of those faces that people laugh at.”

Is that right.

“Grandpa yeah. Like if I didn’t know you, and I saw you, I would laugh.”

?

“Grandpa not like that. Hahaa.”

?

“Hahaha. Don’t do that with your eyes.”

Glad I make you happy.

“Grandpa no.”

I got work to do.

“Wait grandpa.”

You laugh yourself back up the steps and clean your room. And when that’s done…

“Okay grandpa, seriously tell me about grandma. Here, look, 75 cents.”

For What.

“Okay, grandpa look. 50 cents, for the story, and twenty-five cents tax. Now tell me, who is my grandma. Where did she go, did somebody take her. My friend’s mom died and went to heaven. He said he misses her a lot and grandpa he actually told me he cries to go to sleep.  He must miss her a lot. Hahahaa, grandpa, grandpa stop. You’re making your face look so sad like you’re going to cry.”

  1. Yup.
  2. Now here we go.
  3. It is sad.

Well what is it with you. You’re laughing like an idiot and some kid lost his grandma.

“No. No it’s your face. Grandpa… It’s like watching a move with your face.”

?

“Grandpa it’s your eyes and your mouth, You’re like this. Hahahaa. grandpa you’re killing me.  grandpa you’re making me laugh.

When ever you’re ready kid. I’m outta here.

  • I still holding this stuff for the garage .
  • And your still acting like a retarded donkey.

“No no okay okay look, grandpa look, serious, serious. But don’t make me laugh with your face. Grandpa, come on, seriously, you have funny faces when I tell you things.”

Maybe you should stop telling me things.

“Okay grandpa, have a drink of water and come a sit at the table and tell me how come grandma is not here.”

First, I want to ask you a question.

Why is it that every time you see me with a heavy load of stuff in my arms you ask questions.  Tell me why…”Grandpa you said one question.”   We can quit talking any time you know…”Grandpa, I just want to know things, how am I to answer other people if I don’t know things. Grandpa asking is for stupid kids.”

Excuse me?  What’s stupid?  Kids?

“No grandpa, questions. Questions are stupid. Hahahaa. grandpa your face.”

?

“Ha hahahaa. No grandpa stop. Don’t look at me like what.”

Is that right.

“Grandpa no. I don’t mean about grandmaaa. Grandpa never mind anything and tell me about grandma. Please, grandpa please tell me.

Fine! Your grandmother was, well still is, how can I say it, but of her mind.  She left on her own accord. She was afraid to be around children.

“Grandpa what does that even mean?”

There is three of her in her own head and they are always fighting who is here for the day or weeks running, some people would say. She would have some pretty rough days.

“What about you grandpa.”

Well I’m not crazy.

“No grandpa. I mean did she do anything to you.”

No. She tried.

“How did you stop her, did you hurt her?”

No. Just held her down and cried.

“Aw Grandpa I’m sorry.”
No. She’s the love of my life.

“Grandpa where is she now?”

Oh no you don’t kid. Not this one.

“Grandpa, seriously, is she in a small town stamping Envelopes. Room 327. Grandpa I just needed to know if I was right. I’m right, right grandpa? ROOM 327. That’s what it’s called right, I figured it out.”

Hey! I heard enough. You stay out of my stuff.

“Wait grandpa. I all ready have it written out.”

Give me it.

“Grandpa I can’t the teacher has it.”

Get it.

“Grandpa I can’t. My teacher went on a vacation to CUBA.”

Yeah I bet he did. Now guess what. This 75 cents is mine.

“Fine grandpa. But come see the picture I made for your story.”

Good god.

“Hahaaa, grandpa. Your face.”

[Scan room 327]

Holy kid! What are you doing.

“It’s okay grandpa, it’s just a picture.”

A picture of what.

“Nothing grandpa, it’s just a picture of Sally’s door with room 327 on it. I promise.”

That’s enough of my stuff kid. Well it better be.

“Oh grandpa there is only two more.”

What!    Listen.  Yeah okay laugh.

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GRANDPA WHY ARE POOR PEOPLE SAD THEY HAVE NO MONEY

“Grandpa why are poor people sad they have no money.”

What kind of question it that. Yup, laugh.

“Well grandpa I just want to know why some people get so crazy cos they have no money? Don’t they even know they don’t have to pay tax?  My friend’s dad has lots of money and he has to pay tax to the Government and it’s his own money. That doesn’t make any sense to me grandpa.  I just don’t get it. If it is his money, then why grandpa, why does he have to pay money to have money.”

Listen kid why don’t you go out side for ten minutes and get some air.

“Grandpa. I don’t want to go outside for ten minutes.”

And I don’t want to answer your question.

“Well come on there grandpa, how am I suppose to learn if you don’t teach me.

I teach you lots of things kid just not stuff like that.

“Well what if I want to grow up and do nothing, then I won’t have to pay tax on working hard everyday to make money.

Now how dumb is that kid how are you going to eat or anything.

“No grandpa, I stay with you.  And Sally said her dad made them all go poor,  because he didn’t have money to pay [money tax]. Sally said her dad worked really hard everyday. And now grandpa, they don’t have a house anymore.”

You want them all to come here?”

“Grandpa, no, stop, you’re making me start to laugh.  Sally has to live with her uncle. She told me she hates her uncle…

Listen kid.  Get outside and roll around in the mud or climb a tree but get out of my way.

“Okay grandpa, but just tell me.”

  1. Sure for 50 cents.
  2. Then ten more cents for the fifty-cents.
  3. Now get out of my way.

“Grandpa I don’t have fifty-cents, and why 10 cents more?”

In case you want your 50 cents back I’ll still have 10.

“GRANDPA BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH- WHY DO WE PAY TAX ON OUR MONEY.”

So you can keep it.

“But grandpa…”

That’s just the way it is kid, so slap yourself to the back door and open it for me.

  • Yup here we go.
  • knock yourself out laughing.
  • Maybe learn to laugh with your eyes opened and your mouth shut.

“Grandpa I can’t help it, it’s your face. You did this with your face.”

  1. Yup okay fall.
  2. Then make me trip.
  3. Then laugh more if I brake something.

“Grandpa, it’s all good, let me carry this for you. I don’t want you to fall.”

If it will help get rid of you take it. Laundry room is that way.

“Cool grandpa, give me the basket so you won’t fall down.”

Yeah, here take it. Now go sing a song for about an hour.

“Oh grandpa you’re so funny. I love being with you.”

Yup. You’re a good kid. A little odd, but I’ll take it.

“So grandpa, about the taxes…?”

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HEY GRANDPA I WROTE A STORY ABOUT YOU/CAN I SELL IT

“Hey grandpa I wrote a story about you can I sell it?”

Why you little dickens why would you do that?

“Money grandpa, my teacher said I should write a story about you and sell it.”

There is no story about me!

“Yes grandpa, all the stories you tell me.”

Yeah well those there stories, are me and you kid, secret quite between grandpas and grandkid only. Them’s stories nobody will believe.

“YES! Perfect.”

  1. Now you’re screwing with me kid.
  2. And now you’re laughing like a retard kid, looking at a comic up-side down.
  3. Oh sure laugh you’re head off.

“No grandpa I’m laughing because of your face.”

Really kid? Just tell me why so happy.

“The name of my story is GRANDPAS AND GRANDKIDS.”

Yeah okay then, laugh and slob yourself all over the place. How is that even funny?

“Grandpa, grandpa. You’re going to love this. Only grandpas and grandkids can buy it.”

There’s more than two out there you know.

“So grandpa you’re the best. People are going to love this, I know it.”

How do you know it.

“Because I love this story grandpa.”

Yeah well, hey wait there, come back.

“Okay in a minute Grandpa. I need to press send.”

WELL WHAT IS IT?

“THEFLASKDRINKERS”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

IMG_1514“GRANDPA.  IT’S OKAY.”   Yup, laughing trust me.

“Well grandpa the story is not about you? Really.  Now come on grandpa, it’s a story you told me about your great-grandfather or grandfather. What ever grandpa it’s not about you.  Trust me. I wouldn’t tell on you.”

  1. What do you mean!
  2. And what are you laughing at now?
  3. There is nothing to tell on me.

“‘Grandpa, I’m not laughing at you. It’s your face.”

Yeah here we go again. Your acting like a kid…”Grandpa I am a kid. 11 get it I don’t know how many times I tell you I had my birthday and you still don’t get it.”

Yeah? You’ll get it if you push send.

“Grandpa, I already sent it down stairs, well coming up the stairs, you saw me with my iPhone. Grandpa don’t look that way, you are going to make me laugh.”

Yeah well that’s a little to late to eh.

Hey yeah dumb kid, you don’t have a copy, soo it does not matter to me what you sent.

“Oh grandpa as if I need a copy…you told me the story over a hundred times, I’m sure I pretty much know it by heart now. Besides, never mind now grandpa, I sent it.”

Yeah well you got chores and home-work so get at’er.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY BILLS ARE LASPING..CULTS

Holy shit, look who’s back.

Yes. It is me! I have been away just like some people, and we all come back, just like me.  am back. Nut I can tell you, “it was not all fun and games.” Holy shit work? Plenty of work, tons of work. But not the paying kind.  “Is there cult work?”

Many a good meal to be had though.

Yup!, desert almost every night. and when there wasn’t, “let me tell you.”  We did without. Plenty of juice, tea, water and coffee though. And in that order as well. “One out of the three wasn’t bad for me.” Coffee. lol The water tasted like rust and smelled like poop, as for juice I don’t choose to drink it, which left a cup of tea once in a while.

  1. So now you are home.
  2. And back in every bodies way.
  3. Unpack, put things away.
  4. Clean-up the mess left behind for the return.

At least this way, my above chores will give all of us time to adjust to my home-coming.

🙂 happy to say I found some time to write a few things down. I also learned some things.  One thing particular I am not pleased in learning, cos, “it is chewing at me wanting more of my attention.  But I do not want to know more and I prayed that I can stop singing the song.  I fear bad can only come from it.”

Sucks to be you!

Eat crow you ass dick! I am much stronger in my sole right down to my shoe.  “Mommy!”

Bastards when children are involved? !, You never go after the child. But here, “130.00 kids”, just went missing, and go on to say this is a real happening event in the year 1284.

TWELVE-EIGHTYFOUR

A BROKEN PROMISE

ONE HUNDRED CHILDREN

TRUE EVENTS

THEY MADE A MOVIE 1957

THEY EVEN WROTE A SONG

FAR BE IT FOR ME TO PUT IT IN THE MINDS OF HEADS.

“FIND OUT ON YOUR OWN.

So welcome back and get rid of that shit out of your head.  “Yup. No time for wicked, no time for dead.” But it is going to be hard, because it is packed in there real tight.

And why is this?

Let me tell you. “I put out, one hell of a good research on the above info., and after the first initial thoughts of this luring intriguing hunt, I wanted more of the truth, I wanted to find any historian record of actual proof.  So I searched and forgot the living.

My brain took over for a few days until I, realized ,

  • I am thinking evil thoughts.
  • I am not thinking of people around me.
  • I am wasting my life on the dead.

That all was getting pretty intense, I even remember some of the song, the bad stuff, which continue to play over and over in my mind or out loud. “Crap-o-la! This will not do! I am much stronger in my soul with my heart to shake this true event, this mythical story told from 1284.

Besides . . .As I fell prey, to this earning to know more shit, my bills are lapsing!

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TRIPLE PERSONALITY VERSES BLOGGING

I need an easier faster way to get to my window. clearing the way will take over an hour of my time.  I don’t have that time. I NEED TO BLOG.

I need to crawl to reach the window or find another way out.

By the way, it’s me, THETALER.  And until I fix this I can not leave this place.  The obvious problem is I failed at tinkering in school! I should have paid more attention to the tedious stuff and I wouldn’t be stuck here now.

So why waste time.  May as well catch you up on things you don’t know about. Like the last few days STUCK with these two, a sex-pot and a  psycho.  “I need out of here! I have to get away from all the over zealous crap coming from them! They are driving me nuts! I can’t think! I can’t eat. I can’t sit in one place for more than a few minutes, seconds even.

I have some water in the sink I need to get to . . .But no, these two need to be in this room Trying at who knows what. Everybody is insane with trying to out wit each other. all they came in for was, so they said was to tell me a poem.

  • Mary had a little lamb and could not find it.
  • So they gave her shit

After I didn’t care about the poem., they went on to more of it or its likeness.

  • Mary fairy Larry Harry
  • Ate the lamb for supper.

I smiled and rubbed my chin doing my best not to give a chuckle because I am trying to get some lines down in this little room.

  • One two sky blue
  • You’re stupid
  • So are you
But while they poke at each other, they are moving things about. Oh look at this , look at that Hey I thought this was going to get put over there. And look at the board you brought in to paint, it is in the way of this., and so on!
“It’s getting way to hot and dusty in here!   I yelled. “The window needs to be opened.”
Then. “Oh bother!  Never mind . . .I’m staying right here, they barricaded the door. I have no time to rewire my only light. They are so very busy, like a roulette-wheel. They steadily the cause, chaotic interruptions, for one an other, while moving this, taking that, put this here and so forth and so on.

ALL OF IT IS ONE HELL OF A WASTE OF TIME.

But apart from all that, very creative plans are sought-up only to drift away.

Watching them is like staying in a continued circle stopping in intervals of three all around the room.  Some people would say,”things will get done in a round about way.”

Anyway the window is opened, the mess is bigger than their surprise. They are each puzzled at each-other’s tedious pile of clutter that must be cleared and put away. IMG_1457

You made all that mess just to open a window

I just wanted to put the dress on the mannequin

Shit don’t clean-up it’s self you know

IMG_1442

“I need to get this fixed and get out of here.”

 

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WHAT IS MY TRIPPLE PERSONALITY GOING TO DO NOW.

GET A LOAD OF THIS.

I have prayed to my Lord, asking that a good man find me, like me, a man to Love me. A decent man to marry me. I also agreed my sibling pray for my hope.

After a while I forgot to ask God to see me down here waiting for love to just find me. What is that people say!? Love does not find people. people go find love!  <French> It’s the same thing. So Yes, I will wait for love to find me. I pray for real love to find me, plus I believe my sibling  prayers. I believe in the power of prayer.  It makes perfect since. > somepeople say> it’s all a big magnet drawing in energy < – So all that concentration at once causes a cosmic interruption sending electrical volts to heavens door-bell.

March or April this year 2017 I told my sister I wanted to get married again. “Why?”

ANSWER> I always wanted to be a wife. A wife with kids. A wife with children and a husband.  I didn’t ask for anything more.

Hell. I even bring stories to life [adding] LOVE. Love love love.  And now here I am trying to explain why I need this companionship all of a sudden. My older sister wants to know why I want The Lord to send me a man. Because is all that I said. Because. Why can’t I be happily married too. Why can’t I love a man and a man love me too. I want to cook and clean and take care of a man like all woman do.

Does

should?

[I do not wish to be the cause, of another bra burning bash, violating  the “TRUMP NEWS” Not the president, the man of the hour, now!

WOMAN ARE TO TAKE CARE OF MEN – MEN TAKE CARE OF WOMAN

  • Anyway none the less the phone rings a few days ago.
  • It was a very old family friend.
  • He came to visit this very day.

Is this my ?, was he sent to me? Did he find me while he was out looking for love? Did Love just find me or it’s all, just coincidentally, out of the blue, after 27 years, he calls.

Am I to believe now that love can find you.

The phone rang two-hours ago.  He tells he was drawn to me and wants my permission to give my name to a reader, to see if we are compatible. . What is this I ask you.  A Fortune teller to see if we are compatible?   “Quote.” He’s going to tell you this name has a triple personality but you will be perfectly safe. [happy he found this statement amusing]. Again I said. “Quote!” , how can you pray to god and ask him for rain, then go to a future teller for love? That’s not okay.” Of course he wanted to know why I thought the way I did.

Answer > Because the Bible says so.

He said it is to at least see if we are compatible. “Okay, okay I said. But I do not want to know my future! > My mother even said it is bad to know.<

The Lord answered my prayer, now will I botch things up with my {allities?} all three? I can only say, poor guy, cause it is not easy living with one person not three in one. even though she sais with a smile, you’re safe. Now I laugh.

He even wants to save the trees. I love trees!  Tree or three how many do you want. FRENCH.  I say French because the French swear and I don’t swear, so French.

So naturally, I told him, odd, that I have been praying a man sent to love me and marry me for ever. That my sister is praying for me as well. [He rather liked this], so did I. We actually talked for a while setting a date to meet at an eatery, discussing his great find with his TELLER just using my name? I hope this does not scare the teller.

Laughing some more.   All in a name they say.  French!

What is my triple-personality going to do now.

Jump ins.

He told me all about his work at his first visit. So I ran to get all my, work, placing it down in front of him. He is impressed. I only smile.

It was not long a half an hour visit. He had to go. My mind told me it was a cheap visit indeed. ? half an hour.   But my heart told me he made flight because all the kids were all over him so were the dogs and. A bit to much isn’t. YES indeed it is.

When I hugged him good bye, it felt like the hello hug.  A brick wall. A strong man a working man I asked of my Lord. Then I find myself telling the Lord that I can’t even call him and apologise for all the commotion.  I don’t even know how to spell his last name or the town city or place he comes form. I didn’t think to ask? I just fell into his stories and showed him my written stories then he was gone.  Again I asked the Lord, how do I even find him back?

Seriously I found it, but to afraid to use it. Am I a stocker now? Will he think me mad? I don’t know, but I don’t want him to think I am crazy.  So I just went on with my usual blogging stuff complaining to the Lord who else >

then just like that the phone rang <>Him asking to make plans meeting at an eatery.

Now I’m left here with my mind.

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