GRANDPA HOW COME GRANDMA IS NOT HERE

“Grandpa how come grandma is not here? Did she go a way? did she get sick and die?”

Holy kid. How come every time you see me moving things around you ask me stuff. Maybe I will get that 50 cents back.

“No grandpa that was different, you didn’t teach me nothing with my [money tax] question.”

Good I will try again with this question.  “Grandpa, no, stop. Your face is going to make me laugh.”

Sounds a little to late. Here we go. Laugh it out. And while you’re doing that laugh more at I will take that fifty-cents again and this time charge you!, a quarter. 25 big cents.

“Haahaa.”

Guess what. You can laugh 75 cents right into my hand or I’ll tell you nothing about your grandma.  Yeah sounds more like it.

“How come the price went up. Grandpa that’s not fair.”

There is no fair here kid.  Just me and you and my honor, and on my honour I will have earned this 50 cents AND. 25 more big cents.

“Oh grandpa, you’re always trying to be smart or wright…Grandpa I said wright, don’t you get it? The brothers.  Grandpa. You told me this.”

Just hand over the money along with the tax.

“It better be good grandpa, it better not be like the tax lesson.

You paying me or what o-cheep-o.

“Hnhn, GRANDPA, don’t do that with your face. HAhahah.”

A least my eyes, are opened, not my mouth. You’re standing on the steps with your eyes closed and you’re mouth opened.

Yeah laugh some more.

Laugh you’re self to pieces.

I’ll pick you up off the floor.

“Grandpa you have one of those faces that people laugh at.”

Is that right.

“Grandpa yeah. Like if I didn’t know you, and I saw you, I would laugh.”

?

“Grandpa not like that. Hahaa.”

?

“Hahaha. Don’t do that with your eyes.”

Glad I make you happy.

“Grandpa no.”

I got work to do.

“Wait grandpa.”

You laugh yourself back up the steps and clean your room. And when that’s done…

“Okay grandpa, seriously tell me about grandma. Here, look, 75 cents.”

For What.

“Okay, grandpa look. 50 cents, for the story, and twenty-five cents tax. Now tell me, who is my grandma. Where did she go, did somebody take her. My friend’s mom died and went to heaven. He said he misses her a lot and grandpa he actually told me he cries to go to sleep.  He must miss her a lot. Hahahaa, grandpa, grandpa stop. You’re making your face look so sad like you’re going to cry.”

  1. Yup.
  2. Now here we go.
  3. It is sad.

Well what is it with you. You’re laughing like an idiot and some kid lost his grandma.

“No. No it’s your face. Grandpa… It’s like watching a move with your face.”

?

“Grandpa it’s your eyes and your mouth, You’re like this. Hahahaa. grandpa you’re killing me.  grandpa you’re making me laugh.

When ever you’re ready kid. I’m outta here.

  • I still holding this stuff for the garage .
  • And your still acting like a retarded donkey.

“No no okay okay look, grandpa look, serious, serious. But don’t make me laugh with your face. Grandpa, come on, seriously, you have funny faces when I tell you things.”

Maybe you should stop telling me things.

“Okay grandpa, have a drink of water and come a sit at the table and tell me how come grandma is not here.”

First, I want to ask you a question.

Why is it that every time you see me with a heavy load of stuff in my arms you ask questions.  Tell me why…”Grandpa you said one question.”   We can quit talking any time you know…”Grandpa, I just want to know things, how am I to answer other people if I don’t know things. Grandpa asking is for stupid kids.”

Excuse me?  What’s stupid?  Kids?

“No grandpa, questions. Questions are stupid. Hahahaa. grandpa your face.”

?

“Ha hahahaa. No grandpa stop. Don’t look at me like what.”

Is that right.

“Grandpa no. I don’t mean about grandmaaa. Grandpa never mind anything and tell me about grandma. Please, grandpa please tell me.

Fine! Your grandmother was, well still is, how can I say it, but of her mind.  She left on her own accord. She was afraid to be around children.

“Grandpa what does that even mean?”

There is three of her in her own head and they are always fighting who is here for the day or weeks running, some people would say. She would have some pretty rough days.

“What about you grandpa.”

Well I’m not crazy.

“No grandpa. I mean did she do anything to you.”

No. She tried.

“How did you stop her, did you hurt her?”

No. Just held her down and cried.

“Aw Grandpa I’m sorry.”
No. She’s the love of my life.

“Grandpa where is she now?”

Oh no you don’t kid. Not this one.

“Grandpa, seriously, is she in a small town stamping Envelopes. Room 327. Grandpa I just needed to know if I was right. I’m right, right grandpa? ROOM 327. That’s what it’s called right, I figured it out.”

Hey! I heard enough. You stay out of my stuff.

“Wait grandpa. I all ready have it written out.”

Give me it.

“Grandpa I can’t the teacher has it.”

Get it.

“Grandpa I can’t. My teacher went on a vacation to CUBA.”

Yeah I bet he did. Now guess what. This 75 cents is mine.

“Fine grandpa. But come see the picture I made for your story.”

Good god.

“Hahaaa, grandpa. Your face.”

[Scan room 327]

Holy kid! What are you doing.

“It’s okay grandpa, it’s just a picture.”

A picture of what.

“Nothing grandpa, it’s just a picture of Sally’s door with room 327 on it. I promise.”

That’s enough of my stuff kid. Well it better be.

“Oh grandpa there is only two more.”

What!    Listen.  Yeah okay laugh.

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